By Dr. Noelle Sterne

Q: I How can I stop feeling like I don’t deserve a dissertation or degree?

 — Existentially Squirming

A: In tears, my dissertation client Aurora wailed, “Chapter 2 is destroying me! I’ll be in this article gridlock for the next 10 years! I’m just not dissertation material!”

Aurora’s heartfelt confession was not unusual. In my longtime practice coaching graduate students working on their dissertations, many have complained about being blocked in their writing. It might be the dreaded literature review Chapter 2, or qualitative data analysis, or another section or chapter that particularly bedevils them. But what was more disturbing about Aurora’s cry was her assumption that she wasn’t “dissertation material.”

Instead of tackling her sweeping self-condemnation, I chose to focus on Aurora’s writing block. I helped her rethink the sections of her literature review, then settle on just
one, and concentrate on a single article in that section. If she started doing something, I knew, she’d regain a little confidence and stop disparaging herself.

Sadly, I’ve heard many other students’ self-deprecations: “My father was right—my sister inherited the brains.” “My Aunt Sandra was right—I’ll never get past a master’s.” “My wife is right—I should stick to my job selling cell phones.”

As I thought about these statements, uttered with such fervent certainty, I wondered why doctoral students come to such damaging conclusions. They seem to believe that completing a dissertation requires special gifts or godly dispensations bestowed only on a privileged few, usually fellow students or cohort members who are an enviable draft ahead of them.

Many students lament, “I’ve never done this before.” Of course. Very few have, except the rarified scholar who goes after multiple masters and doctorates. I know of only one, and I suspect he racked up all those degrees from addiction to sagging self- esteem and perpetual studenthood.

If you’re trekking through the dissertation jungle, you may think it’s a test not only of your intelligence but also of your very beingness. Granted, the process can be brutal, especially with chairs, advisers, and committee members who have axes to grind, egos to keep sharpened, and displaced rage from humiliation at their own doctoral experiences. (Unfortunately, essays abound by graduate students about their dissertation horrors.)

How many students, after seeing their latest draft marked up to unreadability by their chairs, go into months-long funks and are sure they’re worthless as human beings? One professor at a prestigious university confessed to me that, during her doctoral years, she received such a bloody draft from her chair and immediately threw her unfinished dissertation under the bed. She didn’t touch it, or vacuum, for four months.

And yet . . . so many doctoral candidates have successfully navigated the shark-infested academic ocean to the promised Shangri-la of doctoral letters after their names. This attainment is not impossible, although difficult and undeniably at great cost.

Thinking about my clients’ exclamations, I asked myself how to help students shake loose their seemingly unalterable assertion that they’re not good enough or smart enough or even worthy at all.

As if in providential answer, a colleague’s email popped up in my inbox with the subject line: “Advice Like Chocolate.” Working on her own doctorate, she said she’d been lamenting to a friend about what she was sure were her personal deficiencies to continue with the work. Her friend interrupted and announced: “You are not your dissertation.”

My colleague gasped.

Her friend continued, “The dissertation is not a test of intelligence or a measure of human worth. You know what it is? A test of consistency and resiliency. The chair and committee are really asking: ‘How much can you take? After we keep knocking you down, how many times can you come back out of your corner, swinging and writing?’ None of it has any relation to your value as a human being.”

I called Aurora and read her my colleague’s words. “Oh, thank you, thank you.” Her voice was on the edge of tears. The following week I received her new Chapter 2 for editing.

At our next coaching call, she said, “You know, when I sat down to write again, I started to feel the old block and all those thoughts of worthlessness taking over. Then I thought about what you said and decided to show it who’s boss.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Well, I talked to my dissertation. I stood up at my desk with my hands on my hips and told it, ‘You are not the definer of my life. You are only a project!’”

“Wow!” I was impressed.

“So,” she continued, “I said to myself, ‘I can do a project.’ And I sat down and got back to work!”

What Aurora did—and I have since advised many other stuck candidates to do—was to gain a perspective on her dissertation and what it means. And to change their self-talk, like Aurora did (accompanying body language optional but recommended).

And then to attack the work sanely. This means to break it down into the smallest units you can—for example, one article in one section of the literature review. Then the next article, and the next. Or one subhead and one step in it. For the methods chapter in the data collection section, you could create the recruitment letter or flyer, and then the letter to your prospective participants’ organization. Remember too that your university guide for chapters and their subsections often provides a roadmap. Or ask your chair for preferred subheads and referrals to accepted dissertations.

To further help combat students’ feelings of helplessness and befuddlement, I often ask for their plan of attack, based on the guidelines. It helps them to write down, in sequence, what they’re going to do on each chapter and when. Self-imposed deadlines can always be adjusted, and there’s no penalty.

Sometimes it helps too if you talk to another academic or friend who’s been through the fire. You’ll probably be heartened at their confessions of having felt exactly as you do at many points. You might also tell or email them your plan of attack. This action reinforces and redeclares your intention, and you’re inviting accountability.

Yes, the dissertation is big and it’s long and it a great deal of effort, concentration, and discipline. But remind yourself of the benefits of a completed dissertation and doctorate: satisfaction (often of completing a life goal), contribution, prestige, more career opportunities, maybe a promotion, maybe even more money. But it’s still only a project. It’s a project you can complete. Otherwise you wouldn’t be wrestling with it, however many times it’s hammer-locked you.

As Aurora declared, your dissertation does not define you. It may reveal your interests, identify a passion, confirm a desire to contribute, and help you perfect your mastery of scholarly conventions. But it’s a project—and only one of the many you will complete and receive accolades for in your career.

So in moments or days of discouragement when you’re tempted to demolish yourself and throw your dissertation drafts down a well, stand up, put your hands on your hips if you have to, reignite your persistence, and remember that the apparent monster is only a project. You are not your dissertation.

Acknowledgment: With thanks to my colleague KH.
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Note from Dr. Noelle:
As I delve headfirst into other, long-postponed projects, this is the last of these Dear Dr. Noelle columns. Thank you to my dissertation clients, the TAA staff, all who have suggested questions, and readers. I have enjoyed sharing these columns with you and hope they have helped you and any other suffering doctoral candidates you know. I welcome your questions and comments: graduguides@yahoo.com

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Dissertation coach, nurturer, bolsterer, handholder, and editor; scholarly and mainstream writing consultant; author of writing craft, spiritual, and academic articles; and spiritual and motivational counselor, Noelle Sterne has published many pieces in print and online venues, including Author Magazine, Chicken Soup for the Soul, Children’s Book Insider, Graduate Schools Magazine, GradShare, InnerSelf, Inspire Me Today, Transformation Magazine, Unity Magazine, Women in Higher Education, Women on Writing, Writer’s Digest, and The Writer. Noelle’s ninth story for Chicken Soup for the Soul appears in June 2025 in the volume Self-Care Isn’t Selfish. With a Ph.D. from Columbia University, Noelle has for 30 years helped doctoral candidates wrestle their dissertations to completion (finally). Based on her practice, her Challenges in Writing Your Dissertation: Coping with the Emotional, Interpersonal, and Spiritual Struggles (Rowman & Littlefield Education, 2015) addresses students’ often overlooked or ignored but crucial nonacademic difficulties that can seriously prolong their agony. See the PowerPoint teaser here. In Noelle`s Trust Your Life: Forgive Yourself and Go After Your Dreams (Unity Books, 2011), she draws examples from her academic consulting and other aspects of life to help readers release regrets and reach lifelong yearnings. Following one of her own, she is currently working on her third novel. Visit Noelle at www.trustyourlifenow.com