By Angelica Ribeiro, PhD

Getting our writing done has a lot to do with how we respond to expectations. Here’s why.

As writers, we are constantly expected to meet different expectations. For example, we may be expected to write about a particular topic, publish in a certain journal, submit by a specific deadline, or complete a project in a certain format. With so many expectations, writing can become overwhelming if we don’t have strategies to help us manage them. However, before looking for strategies, we need to understand ourselves better and identify what approaches are most effective for us.

Gretchen Rubin developed the Four Tendencies—a personality framework that focuses on one important aspect of human behavior: how people respond to expectations. According to Rubin, there are two kinds of expectations: outer  expectations, which are expectations placed on us by others (e.g., a work assignment, a journal submission deadline, or a writing commitment), and inner expectations, which are expectations we place on ourselves (e.g., the desire to exercise regularly or write every day).

Based on how people respond to outer and inner expectations, they tend to fall into one of four categories or tendencies: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger or Rebel. According to Rubin, as shown in the image, the Four Tendencies overlap. While people may display characteristics of more than one tendency, their primary tendency reflects their core pattern of responding to inner and outer expectations.

Below I briefly describe each tendency, common writing challenges associated with each one, and strategies that can help writers complete their projects (Rubin, 2017). As you read, consider which tendency best describes you.*

Image Source: https://gretchenrubin.com/four-tendencies/

Upholder: Meets both outer and inner expectations

Upholders readily meet both external and internal expectations.

Main characteristics:

• Demonstrate self-starting, high motivation, and consistent reliability
• Meet deadlines and follow through commitments
• Maintain routines and personal goals
• Want to understand others’ expectations while also valuing their own expectations
• Enjoy schedules, to-do lists, and established systems
• Excel at following plans and completing tasks
• Require little supervision, reminders, or external pressure to stay on track
• Rarely fall behind on responsibilities

Writing challenges:

• May struggle when expectations are unclear or when a writing project lacks structure or a defined process.

Strategies for writers:

• Create a detailed writing schedule (e.g., writing time: Monday-Friday, 6:30-7:30 a.m.)
• Use milestones and checklists (e.g., break a book or article into sections, track progress)
• Define the finish line (e.g., set a deadline for first draft to be completed)

Questioner: Meets inner expectations but resists outer expectations

Questioners tend to meet expectations when they understand the reasoning behind them.

Main characteristics:

• Question expectations and seek justification
• Follow expectations when they make sense
• Customize approaches based on their own needs
• Look for efficient solutions
• Value research, evidence, and information
• Make decisions based on logic and available information
• Commit fully once convinced of the right approach
• Enjoy sharing knowledge and resources
• Ask questions frequently, sometimes appearing uncooperative

Writing challenges:

• May spend too much time researching, analyzing, or questioning the writing process or content to include instead of moving forward.

Strategies for writers:

• Define the purpose behind the project (e.g., write a “Why this matters” statement, connect the project to a larger goal)
• Limit information gathering (e.g., decide how many sources are necessary before beginning)
• Create a personalized writing system (e.g., experiment with writing times, session lengths, and routines)

Obliger: Meets outer expectations but resists inner expectations

Obligers readily meet expectations from others but may struggle to follow through on personal
goals without accountability.

Main characteristics:

• Keep promises to others but struggle to keep promises to themselves
• Need external accountability, even for personal goals
• Readily support and help others
• Feel a strong sense of responsibility toward other’s expectations
• Often go the extra mile for others
• Respond well to deadlines, support, and accountability systems

Writing challenges:

• May have strong intentions to write but struggle to prioritize writing when no one else is depending on them.

Strategies for writers:

• Create accountability (e.g., join a writing group or share progress with someone)
• Transform personal goals into responsibilities (e.g., shift from “I want to finish my book” to “My readers are waiting for this book.”)
• Build accountability systems (e.g., schedule weekly check-ins or writing appointments)

Rebel: Resists both outer and inner expectations

Rebels value freedom and are motivated by choice rather than expectations.

Main characteristics:

• Act because they choose to, not because they are told to
• Prefer flexibility and independence
• Resist rules, schedules, and pressure
• Often challenge traditional approaches
• Think creatively and outside the box
• Value spontaneity and autonomy
• Respond well to the information-consequence-choice framework

Writing challenges:

• May resist writing schedules, routines, or external pressure.

Strategies for writers:

• Frame writing as a choice (e.g., replace “I have to write today.” with “I choose to write because this expresses what I care about.”)
• Connect writing to identify (e.g., “I am a writer who explores meaningful questions.”)
• Create choices or choose from them (e.g., “Do I want to write this morning or afternoon?” or “Do I want to draft or revise today?”)

Once you identify your tendency, you can apply strategies that support the way you naturally respond to expectations. You can use the strategies above or develop your own based on your tendency’s strengths and challenges. The goal is not to force yourself into a particular system but to create a writing process that works with your tendency. Understanding how you respond to expectations can help you complete your writing projects in a way that feels more effective, sustainable, and enjoyable.

Reference

Rubin, G. (2017). The four tendencies: The indispensable personality profiles that reveal how to make your life better (and other people’s lives better, too). Harmony Books.

*If you aren’t sure what your tendency is, you can take the Four Tendencies quiz at https://gretchenrubin.com/quiz/the-four-tendencies-quiz/

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Angelica Ribeiro is a writer, researcher, and professor. She is the author of How to Create Happiness at Work, Running into Happiness, and My Happiness Habit Journal. She holds a Ph.D. in curriculum and instruction with a focus on English as a second language from Texas A&M University. She has taught English learners and preservice teachers in the United States and Brazil for over 25 years. Angelica has several publications on second language acquisition. She works as a professor in higher education and helps others benefit from her happiness research. When she was a Ph.D. student, Angelica struggled with balancing her academic commitments and personal life, which motivated her to embark on a journey to increase happiness. Her journey was so successful that now she encourages others to create happiness in their busy lives by sharing science-based strategies. Visit https://www.creatinghappiness.today