By Angelica Ribeiro, Ph.D.

As a writer, you have likely experienced negative emotions at some point. Whether it is receiving a rejection letter for your manuscript, facing criticism for your ideas, or getting stuck in your writing, it is normal to feel this way. The key is to learn how to cope with these emotions rather than trying to eliminate them.

Social connections can be a great tool for managing negative emotions like stress, frustration, and disappointment. Robert Waldinger, the leading author of The Good Life, explains how warm social connections can regulate your negative emotions:

“When you are upset, stressed, angry, unhappy, your body goes into fight-or-flight response, your heart rate goes up, you might start sweating a little bit, and you just don’t feel well. When you don’t have someone to talk to about what is bothering you, you stay in chronic fight-or-flight mode, your body has chronic stress and chronic levels of inflammation, and your body circulates stress hormones that wear away happiness and break down different body systems. Now, when you have someone to talk to about what is bothering you, you feel your body calm down. You feel that fight-or-flight response subside, and your body comes back to equilibrium.”

Here is an example of how I applied that knowledge: I have a forthcoming article being published in an academic journal, and I believe that my social connections played a crucial role in this achievement. The article was rejected three times before it was accepted, and each rejection brought feelings of disappointment and frustration. Knowing that I did not want to experience the adverse effects of such feelings, I sought social support. So, I talked to my husband Kent, as well as my friend Nilsa, who are also academic writers. My body eased into a calmer state by talking with them about what was bothering me, as Waldinger mentioned in his explanation. As a result, I felt better and more motivated to continue trying to publish that manuscript.

Next time you feel negative emotions, remember to leverage the power of your social connections. Talking to supportive, kind, trustworthy, and understanding people can help you manage your feelings, ultimately making you feel better and more inspired to keep writing.

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Angelica Ribeiro is a writer, researcher, and professor. She is the author of How to Create Happiness at Work, Running into Happiness, and My Happiness Habit Journal. She holds a Ph.D. in curriculum and instruction with a focus on English as a second language from Texas A&M University. She has taught English learners and preservice teachers in the United States and Brazil for over 25 years. Angelica has several publications on second language acquisition. She works as a professor in higher education and helps others benefit from her happiness research. When she was a Ph.D. student, Angelica struggled with balancing her academic commitments and personal life, which motivated her to embark on a journey to increase happiness. Her journey was so successful that now she encourages others to create happiness in their busy lives by sharing science-based strategies. Visit https://www.creatinghappiness.today