By Dr. Noelle Sterne

Q: How much about yourself should you divulge to create a reciprocal relationship?

–Approachable Advisor

A: The benchmark is boundaries. For your poor suffering student, you want to be approachable, supportive, encouraging, and all the other wonderful adjectives of a sterling advisor. BUT—you don’t want to be over-open or fall into a sinkhole of too much sharing.

What’s appropriate for you to share:

How you struggled in graduate school, the nightmare of your defense.

What’s not appropriate for you to share:

Your latest root canal agony, your septic system failure.

What’s appropriate for your student to share:

Struggles with the literature review, sparse data collection.

What’s not appropriate for your student to share:

Worries about partner cheating, pregnancy suspicions.